why didn't you poke me back
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
