i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
