I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
