im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
