we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
