I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
