ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
