it hurts more in the daytime
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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