I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
