if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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