carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
