i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
