once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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