I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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