john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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