just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
