when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
pop tarts are not kleenex
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
