just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it penis luge time yet?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
