I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
