Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she looked like the before picture.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
