Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
