You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
jump out the window naked night went bad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
