did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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