I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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