Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
