What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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