Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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