I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
