I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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