I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
