Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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