dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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