if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
