just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize