Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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