This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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