It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
