If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
