Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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