Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
