You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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