I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
