He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I want is dick and wine.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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