The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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