You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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