I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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