I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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