I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
