You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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