we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
