It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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