Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize