Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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