Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
