once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
