Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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