So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
