u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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