I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
