Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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