I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
