Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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