sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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