I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
