I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
